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You have just been bitten.

There is pain. There is panic.

Toxins route your veins. Your immune system convulses into action but its efforts are countered by that incessant muscle – the heart – just beat, beat, beating all that fire around until your extremities feel like a Reebok Pump a push away from kingdom come.

At this point, you probably don’t care whether the Gila monster that bit you was poisonous, venomous, or a registered republican. But the rest of us shouldn’t have to walk around speaking inaccurately about cool animals because of your ignorance. So today we put to rest the difference between creatures that are venomous and poisonous.

Oh, and if you’re the guy with the Gila monster hanging from your wrist, I can’t say I feel bad for you. Though Gilas are venomous, they’re also slow, shy and they haven’t killed anyone since 1939, so it’s a pretty, pretty, pretty good chance that this is all your fault.

But in the interest of public information, dunk that bad boy in a bucket of water and he should let go. That will at least limit the amount of neurotoxin in your blood stream. Then, fly you fool.

What’s the Difference between poisonous and venomous?

Most people use these terms interchangeably, but the differences are important. Venomous creatures inject a toxin, usually from an internal gland, while poisonous creatures typically secrete a toxin externally. Hence poisonous creatures are most dangerous when touched or ingested.

Following this line of reasoning, snakes, spiders and anything else with hollow, syringe-like fangs are venomous. (Not all snake or spider fangs are this way, but roll with me here.)

Frogs, salamanders, caterpillars and anything else that seeps toxin from its skin, shell or feathers are poisonous. (Similarly, this is an oversimplification of what it means to be poisonous. More on this below.)

But since that’s the easiest answer in the history of Bittel Me This, let’s shoot the cuss about some animals you don’t usually think of as venomous, poisonous or lethal.

The Solenodon [groovily venomous]

A ferocious, shrew-like mammal from Cuba and Hispaniola, the solenodon secretes toxin through glands in its mouth. The toxic saliva travels down a specialized groove on its incisors for use in battle and predation. A bite won’t kill a human, but you’d be surprised what kind of pain you can live through.

This brings up an important point: not all fanged creatures “inject” toxins into their enemies. Like the solenodon, many snakes have grooved teeth that guide the venom into an open wound. In fact, the aforementioned Gila monster’s glands and groovy teeth are on the bottom jaw and it has been known to flip onto its back mid-strike – the better to bite you with, my dear. 

Sidenote: the solenodon makes a clicking sound when it hunts due to its employment of echolocation (like bats and dolphins).

The Hooded Pitohui [gastronomically poisonous]

Researchers studying the pitohui found the birds’ scratches to be particularly painful. Worse, when the researchers did what every human on earth does in reaction to an injury – put it directly into their dirty, dirty mouths – their lips and mouths started to tingle, burn and go numb.

Turns out, pitohui feathers contain batrachotoxins, making it the first confirmed genus of poisonous birds on earth. And though it’s probably the most common bird in New Guinea, scientists didn’t discover its potent secret until 1989.

Batrachotoxins are “extremely potent neurotoxic steroidal alkaloids that in high doses can lead to paralysis, cardiac arrest and death.” They are also the neurotoxin found in the infamous poison dart frogs of South America.

Both pitohuis and poison dart frogs eat Chorosine beetles, which also possess batrachotoxins. Of course, scientists can’t say definitively yet if that’s the ultimate sources of Emeril’s Bam, but it seems likely.

The Box Jellyfish [microscopically venomous]

Everyone knows that jellyfish can sting. And if you watched Friends, you “know” that pissing on such injuries is a home remedy for the pain. But… that’s not true. Urine may actually agitate the stingers into releasing more venom. Straight saltwater is better.

In any event, when it comes to the box jellyfish, you can forget about all that. Because if you get stung by one of these mother cussers, you’ll likely lose your urine on impact.

The box jelly didn’t get the name sea wasp for nothing. “Victims have been known to go into shock and drown or die of heart failure before even reaching shore.” Furthermore:

• They grow 10 ft long.
• They can move up to four knots instead of simply drifting with the current.
• They have eyes. I’m talking lens-retina-iris-cornea-I-see-you eyes. Grouped in clusters of six on the four sides of their “head.” Sweet mother of god. 

Okay, deep breath. What earns jellyfish a place on this list – and in your nightmares – is the mechanism of their sting.

Jellyfish are carnivores, which means they must hunt for a living. They do this via tiny, explosive cells called cnidocytes (or the immature form, cnidoblast). When triggered, this cell fires a harpoon of toxin into its victim with the force of a freaking bullet. The purpose is to penetrate the hard shell of crustaceans, but it’s also plenty strong to pierce human skin. Thereby proving you don’t need fangs to be venomous.

FYI: Because comics have taught us no creature (or villain) is invincible, you should know that sea turtles slurp up jellyfish – even the box jelly – like gelatinous candy.

The African Crested Rat [salivatingly poisonous]

It’s rare that a rodent commands so much respect, but the African crested rat is not to be trifled with. And in this case, you can say the rat’s bark is worse than its bite, for bark is what makes the rat lethal. 

Hailing from East Africa, the crested (or maned) rat acquires its chemical defense by nibbling on the Acokanthera schimperi tree, specifically its bark and roots. The poison involved is called ouabain, which comes from the Somali word for “arrow poison,” as they use the same stuff to bring down game. 

Anyway, the rat gnashes up the tree’s exterior and mixes it with its own saliva, creating a poisonous slurry which it then slathers on its hair. For more on that specially adapted hair, let’s turn to the inimitable Ed Yong:

“The rat’s flank hairs are beautifully adapted to store and deliver the poison. Under the microscope, each shaft is perforated with tiny holes, like the nozzle of a machine gun, and is filled with several thin fibres. The shafts behave like wicks, rapidly drawing up any liquid that comes into contact with them.”

Other fun crested rat facts… Because their defense requires predators to take a bite before they learn their lesson, the rat has super-tough, nearly impenetrable skin and a reinforced skull. Oh yeah, and its poison, ouabain, is strong enough to kill an elephant.

Slow loris [venomous & poisonous]

Remember that ticklish little beast we talked about a few weeks back? Well, they represent the best of both worlds.

Because the loris manufactures toxin from specialized glands on its elbows, then transfers that liquid to small, curved teeth for injection, the loris is venomous. Alternately, mother lorises cover their offspring’s fur in the same
potion, rendering them poisonous.

For more, hit up my previous post on the venomous, poisonous, cute-as-a-demon slow loris.

 

 

Images: Spidey, Gila Monster, Solenodon, Hooded Pitohui, Box Jellyfish, Cnidoblasts, African Crested Rat, Slow Loris